My in-laws vacation a lot. Growing up we vacationed very little, and when we did, it was usually a road trip to visit relatives whose homes we stayed in. Not so with the in-laws. Because of their recent time-share purchase, we have stayed in condos together a few times this year. This is the ideal way to vacation, in my opinion–especially with small children. Going out to eat is fun, and I’m glad to do it on occasion, but it’s so much easier to eat in when you have two munchkins.
Shopping for food has been interesting, to say the least. In years past, I haven’t thought much about the start-of-the-week grocery store trip. We (my husband, his two siblings, and I) would walk through the aisles grabbing whatever snacks and treats tempted us, without having to look at prices or labels (we sound like 8-year-olds, but I assure you, we’re all adults!). It was a lot of fun. But now that I am more food-conscious, the shopping trip is more complex.
Let me back up and say that my in-laws are not very holistic, but they are supportive of me and my choices and they listen when I talk about whatever new thing I’ve learned. My mother-in-law has been on her own health journey for awhile now, too, and it’s exciting that our journeys have begun to overlap some. But my father-in-law still seems to prefer his own ways.
He was the one I went grocery shopping with in August when we vacationed in Newport. At the meat counter, he spotted a package of organic free-range chicken breasts and picked it up–I assume, as an act of kindness toward his daughter-in-law. But then he saw the price. Organic free-range meat is much more expensive than factory farmed meat, to be sure. I don’t think he was prepared for that. He confessed later that he had been unable to pay so much for a product he could get for so much less.
On our most recent vacation in Palm Springs (where the temperatures soard to 116 degrees!), we found ourselves again at the grocery store together. This time, there were no awkward encounters with dead animals, but I found myself feeling extremely self-conscious when reaching for the organic package of cheese when the regular package and it’s nice low price sat staring longingly at my father-in-law. Then when we were choosing a loaf of bread, my mother-in-law chose a loaf that had lots of preservatives in it. She graciously offered to let me pick the loaf. But then I found myself feeling that awkward feeling again.
I should clarify that my in-laws don’t make me feel awkward. I make myself feel awkward. They are the most gracious, accommodating people, and go out of their way to make me feel comfortable. But nonetheless, I still found myself embarrassed that I couldn’t hide my discomfort with the items they were choosing.
On the Holistic Moms Network national email loop, moms are often distressed about parents or in-laws not respecting them and their efforts to feed their families a certain way. I have oodles of respect from my in-laws, but I have trouble accepting it. I guess I’m afraid of them rolling their eyes behind my back, or feeling frustrated having to accommodate my almost-always more expensive choices. Or, more importantly, I’m afraid they think I am judging them. (If you are reading this, be assured that I’m not!)
I suppose if I were contributing to the cost of the trip my preferances and choices wouldn’t make me as self-conscious. The hardest part of eating organic and free-range is eating with other people–especially when those other people are paying.